recently arrived from you a letter to us fluttered home, which we pointed out a friendly way that it is illegal public broadcaster is to see without an appointment, or just not to look as long as one containing a television, a radio or Computer possessed of this potentially would be able to. We were also very angry at first, or not, depending on, but we have a few suggestions for how you can get your message across more effectively, or at least friendly to the man. As you have not noticed, we have a few weeks ago God indeed suggested a change of image and add a few more coming approaches, such as this could use his talents better. We now have this with you before.
you certainly have noticed that your club is not exactly popular in Germany. Well now, this has many reasons: First, like it
your target group is not particularly so if your like the Jehovah's Witnesses or the Three Kings at the door to admission requests and they should not be granted threatened with legal action (which had the Magi surely not have dared, but when is it an old Joseph would not let in, so we are sure that the three, the Jesus tells on the child had evil uncle Herod). That can be not quite the whole point. Also Peilwagen are there not just popular.
The second reason is already clear: your name, so such a Bumm club like you, who calls himself "Gebühreneinzugszentrale" suggests already, that its employees will burn at the stake, and in as appetizers. This is so sympathetic, As the name "Misanthropentreff" is inviting. The same goes for your slogan "Already paid?". A great effect, the familiar with the "paid", but honestly, please anyone who pays voluntarily? So please, this is not unsympathetic as the slogan "Now you are already a coffin of Today for your death tomorrow," an undertaker, and yes we have the coffin as opposed to your "product" is still material benefit.
Now you're probably wondering "What can we do about it," tjahaa ...
Motivate your audience a little, you promise free Kullis, balloons, flags, free condoms .. where if we get to your Target group think that can no longer capable of reproduction, invest the money in yet more free Kullis, or do it like McDonald's: Engage
a B-celebrity who gets paid for your nonsense. As what "hip". At best a foreigner who does not know anyway, what is involved. What about Rihanna or Amy Winehouse? Maybe Bruce Darnell, who knows eh not know what he says. I am told that currently are trendy, hip or drug addicted, find what the young people holding great, and you do indeed likely long-term success? So you start as indicated schonmal in young people.
A motto well ... hmm .. "I love it," would be great, though wonderfully hypocritical, but unfortunately that is already occupied. "Nothing is impossible" would also fit if you consider your efforts that you follow pessimist, but unfortunately we have a car brand here unspecified reception, which is preferred by Russians cliché. You will understand now, but certainly already running in the direction the rabbit. So you think the idea again. You have surely sit around somewhere for a creative-servant, perhaps even has a university degree, which he has here is just not that important.
Now to your target audience .. yes, that is officially your target audience so that virtually everyone, even the are only a broken radio in the basement, has long as you can receive more or less work to some form of broadcasting. Do not you, that you make in there a little too much? I'm interested as any of your coverage, or send your horizon to say the least one of humidity. Generally you are plotting a major part of German culture world against them, since you have a few years ago some universities rather imposed exorbitant fines. Be honest to himself: The truth is your target group currently consists only of senile pensioners who clap for the absent-minded Musikantenstadl, while the radio waves they eat out the last spark of consciousness and to the drones public Conspiracy does, and more than 50 years of locksmith apprentices, the massage after work like with a vacuum cleaner.
Now, after it was told to stay, you currently have 3 options:
a) just do as usual and wait until some crazy lighting your headquarters, and we little doubt that the need is long.
b) you actually focus on your audience and start listening to each damn cat (note that the two operations separate cases) writing a letter that they should pay their fees.
c) make as proposed by us Advertising for the youth and promote the fact that Eminem even paid fees, if because he is doing. How do you make your message the population but tasty is a mystery to us. If in doubt, with a revolver or Moscow team.
At best, however, would d) a ritual mass suicide in a tree house in the Brazilian jungle.
f. With regards,
The Jesus of Pace
H? H? 
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